Back in September my best friend went on a retreat for a few days. Upon her return, she was not only refreshed, but it was like God had breathed on her. As she was sharing one night, we got to talking about the specific way God designed each of us uniquely. In discovering some of her gifts and the perspective she sees life from, there was a test involved. The more we talked, the more discouraged I got. You see, I so wanted to walk through her experience, but I am the worst test taker. I wanted to know my personality traits, gifts, perspective, etc., but I knew if I tried to take that test it would be disastrous. During test taking, I get locked up and feel like I am desperately searching for the right answers. I just want someone else to tell me all these things about myself:)
Well, that’s exactly what happened. A few days after we talked, I sat down and asked the Lord, out loud, to begin to show me the unique gifts He has given me. As I was going through my day, the words Justice and Compassion kept coming to my mind. The Holy Spirit was answering my question! I went home and looked them up, of course cause I’m the word nerd, and I had understanding almost immediately. Compassion, in my own words, is relating to the emotions of others and being moved by that. Jesus was moved by compassion in Matthew 9:36. Justice is basically wanting things to be “right” and “fair”, and oh boy, is that me. Now because I believe these are gifts from the Lord, I know He has a plan to use them in His Kingdom; however, I also know there can be a downside to both of these. You see sometimes I “take on” the emotions of others, and that puts ME in a place of trying to fix things versus allowing the HOLY SPIRIT to lead me in my response. Also, when things aren’t right or fair, especially with my children, mama bear can definitely come out, and this robs my joy. Micah sums up how the Lord intends me to walk these out, “…And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” Micah 6:8 So God is calling me to be an agent of justice and compassion, but this requires deep, prayerful humility.
So in my discovery of this, and as I am receiving the breath of God in my own life, I understand now why I am passionate about orphans, the overlooked, missions etc. These are the areas where I feel one with the heart of my Father in heaven. When we were on our way to the airport to greet our best friends coming home with their daughter from Guatemala, I remember specifically asking the Lord, “what is this feeling welling up in me?” His response, as I gazed at the stars from the car window, was “you feel My heart”. It’s the most incredible feeling to be One with the Father. As you see in the picture above, the Lord has graciously given us a child through adoption, and this picture was taken when I was experiencing that oneness once again.
Today, my heart continues to be drawn to the fatherless. And yes, I am humbly praying about it every day. Just because we have already adopted one child, doesn’t change the perspective I view life from. However, what I am learning is, there are many ways for me to minister to orphans. I don’t know God’s plan for more children in our home, but I do know that God designed me to see life through the Lenses of Justice and Compassion. As I yield my heart to Him, He will make us One!